Rodney (Buddy) Allen Chavera

Buddy,                          January 16, 2008

Hey big brother.... Thanks for being there with me yesterday I could feel you htere holding my hand and it me feel at ease. I was so scared yesterday kept thinking something was going to go wrong. Just thought i would come on here and thak you for being there and watching over me. Love you and miss you very much...

Buddy,                     January 7, 2008

Well we started off the new year ok I guess. I wish you could have been here to celebrate it with us. I sm sure you were watching over all of us to make sure we were all ok. Austin's b-day is today but I am not going to have any b-day parties until after my surgery. Well I love you and miss you.

BUDDY,

PLEASE BE WITH YOUR FAMILY AS THEY GO THROUGH ANOTHER YEAR OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON WITHOUT YOU. WE MISS YOU SO MUCH AND YOUR SMILES AND THE WAY YOU USE TO MAKE EVERYONE SMILE. KNOW THAT YOU WERE SO LOVED BY MANY. MERRY CHRISTMAS BUDDY. I SEEN YOUR DAD AND YOU LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE HIM.  PLEASE LIFT UP YOUR MOM & SISTERS& DAUGHTER, SPIRITS FOR THIS HOLIDAY AND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH THEM IN SPIRIT. LOVE & MISS YOU BUDDY!

December 17, 2007

Thinking of you today, as I do every day!  Miss you every day but I think the holidays make it so much harder to get through without you as a part of our family.

Even though life was tough for you, never once did I, or anyone else as far as I know, hear you ever ask, "Why me?" Instead of worrying about yourself, you made the conscious choice to focus your energy in a positive way on others. 

We're all living on borrowed time. Most people live dying; they die a little bit every day. I'm going to die living. Every day I will learn something new, do something to help someone else, and make someone laugh.

Buddy you are one of the brightest and funniest people I have ever known. I delight in the memories of you laughing, and teasing, and taunting, and making everything fun. I am grateful that my memories of you still make me laugh.

I am so proud of you as a young man who was highly successful and respected in your professional career here in Richmond, and contributed so much to the lives of others through your inspiring example of how one should live.

As I think about how unselfish you were in the last too short years of your life, I strive to follow your example and make wise choices, too. 

Rather than dwell on my sorrow, I choose to think and talk about you Buddy when you were alive and so vibrant.

Still, I can't help but wish I had had just a little more time

with you.

I love and miss you Buddy!! 

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Buddy,                                                      December 13, 2007

Well it's quiet here and I have a minute to sit down and think I thought I would write to you. Today is Tina's brithday but I am sure you remember that. I miss you so much it seem's like it's not getting any easier as time passes. It feel's like the other way around if you know what I mean. I wish you were here so I could talk to you about some thing's going on in my life. You alway's understood me and was there to lend a word of advice. Sometime's I took it sometime's not but either way I still need you. Lexi is getting so big and she is a brat too. She is just like you bullheaded and don't like anyone if she doesn't get what she want's. Remind you of anyone hmmmmmmm....

I talked to Dawn the other day it was nice, wish I could talked to her longer but she was busy. Pretty funny Becky sent me a Christmas card.... I guess she does realize I am alive once a year huh. I don't even care anymore. I think it funny in a way. I will be quiet about all that for now. They haven't even called dad back and some of the shit they said to him make me so mad but oh well ungrateful people. You only have one father and one mother and yo need to cheerish them forever. No holiday's are the same without you as a matter of fact nothing is the same without you here to make us all laugh. I got the kid's some good stuff this year I am sure they will be happy. i love and miss you very much...........xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Buddy,                           December 5, 2007

Dawn sent this to me and I read it and it touched my heart because it is so true....... I hope everyone that come's on your website, it touches them like it did me and I hope they stop to think about what there reading....The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Buddy,                                    December 4, 2007

I just thought I would write you a little letter. It is finally snowing and it's cold as heck. It's getting close to Christmas and of course the kid's probably ain't going to get nothing from Samantha again this year. They won't do without I can asure you of that your family will get them the stuff. I miss you so much I just sit and think about you during the holiday's alot. I love you and miss you.

I AM THINKING OF YOU THIS HOLIDAY SEASON . I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SO MUCH . ITS THE SAME OLD SONG AND DANCE WITH SAMANTHA AND THE KIDS CHRISTMAS, BUT WE WILL  TRY TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A GOOD ONE .I WILL BE OUT TO SEE YOU SOON

Buddy,                      November 19, 2007

Hey big brother just thought I would drop you a few line's to let you know I still think about you all the time. We had a bonfire down at Uncle Phillip's house on Saturday. I didn't feel right I felt like something was missing and that something was you. I kept looking around waiting for you to show up. I didn't stay long just didn't feel right withut you there, everyone else was there. Of course Samantha had to show her fat ass up over there and she was going around telling everyone I am Buddy's girlfriend and I said yeah right exgirlfriend. She is definately no part of this family anymore, not that I ever considered or claimed her as being part of it. Lexi is all we have left from you beside's your memories. Sometime's I feel like I forget what your laugh sounded like or you voice or what your smile looked like. You definetely was not smiling too much after you left Dawn until Lexi came along and then she was the only reason you had to stay in that relationship is to keep her safe. All I have to do is remember back to the day's when you and Dawn were together and I remember it all. The only other time I can remember you laughing is with Lexi or your family. I love you big brother and miss you a whole lot.

Buddy,                         November 4, 2007

I was just sitting here thinking about you. We are having are usual Thanksgiving dinner and it made me think of you. How you would stack your plate high full of food and eat it all then you would unbutton your pant's and say I am full. Then the next thing we new you was off sleeping. I guess food was your sleeping pill. I miss you so much. You were alway's the life of the party and could put a smile on anyone's face no matter what the situation was. Mom could never stay mad at you. None of could because you made a joke out of everything.  I will eat some food for you too tomorrow. Love and miss you lot's...............

Happy Halloween!   I remember the last Halloween I spent with you. You being the wonderful father and person you are went with all us women to take your daughter. You were the only dad that went with us. Walk with us in spirit tonight.  I miss you so much and love you

hey IHAVE SO MANY FOND MEMORIES OF ALL OF US HERE N RICHMOND .I CHERISH ALL OF THEM .IT BROKE MY STRIDE NOT TO MENTI ON MY HEART. YOU WERE AND ALWAYS BE 1 OF MY BEST FRIENDS.............  GOING HOME: AS YOU LAY THERE SEEMINGLY SLEEPING WE GATHERED AROUND YOU AND COULDN'T HELP WEEPING SORROW FLOODS US BECAUSE YOUR GONEWE WILL ALL FIND COMFORT......  FOR YOU ARE GOING HOME YOUR NOW SET FREE FROM THE BURDEN THAT HAS PLAGUED YOU A BETTER PLACE, WE KNOW AWAITS YOU YOU ARE ADORED IN MANY WAYS; THE LIVES YOU TOUCHED,THE MARKS YOU MADE SO CARRY ON O'BEAUTIFUL ONE...FOR YOU A BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN...... DOND1986X@YAHOO.COM  MISS YA TERRIBLY MY OLD FRIEND

BUDDY,                          OCTOBER 29, 2007

WELL ADDISON'S BRITHDAY WAS GOOD SHE GOT LOT'S OF STUFF AND THE CAKE WAS THE CUTIEST. I WISH YO COULD HAVE BEEN HERE. WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH. WELL AT LEAST MOM AND TINA ARE DOWN WHERE THEY CAN WATCH OVER THEM KID'S NOW. IT IS GOING TO BE HARDER ON ME CAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO GET TO SEE THEM EVRYDAY. WE DID PUMPKIN'S YESTERDAY AT MOM'S ALL THE KID'S ENJOYED IT. LOVE AND MISS YOU........

BUDDY,                           OCTOBER 22, 2007

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD TODAY. PEOPLE WANT TO TAKE THERE LIVE'S AND HERE I AM WONDERING WHY THEY WOULD WANT TO DO THAT BECAUSE WHAT I WOULDN'T DO TO HAVE YOU BACK. YOU GOT YOUR LIFE STOLEN FROM YOU. SEEM'S LIKE WHEN YOU HAVE LIFE YOU WANTTO TAKE IT AND WHEN YOUR LYING ON YOUR DEATH BED YOU WANT TO LIVE. I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU LIKE ALL OF US DID YOU LEARN TO VALUE LIFE AND LIVE EVERY MOMENT AND LOVE HARD AND ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. MAN I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE YOU BACK EVEN IF IT WAS JUST FOR A DAY, WELL I CAN'T SAY THAT CAUSE THEN I WOULDN'T WANT TO GIVE YOU BACK. PEOPLE JUST NEED TO WAKE UP AND ENJOY LIFE WHILE IT LAST'S CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOUR TIME IS COMING TO GO LIVE WITH THE LORD IN HIS HOUSE.

SOFTLY THE LEAVES OF MEMORY FALL

AND GENTLY WE GATHER AND TREASURE THEM ALL

UNSEEN UNHEARD YOU ARE ALWAYS NEAR

STILL LOVED STILL MISSED AND EVER SO DEAR

                                       I SAID I HURT GOD

              AND GOD SAID THATS WHY I GAVE YOU TEARS

  I SAID LIFE IS SO HARD

              AND GOD SAID THAT IS WHY I GAVE YOU LOVED ONES

 I SAID BUT MY LOVED ONES ARE PASSED AWAY

              AND GOD SAID SO DID MINE

AND I SAID ITS SUCH A GREAT LOSS

              AND GOD SAID I SAW MINE NAILED TO A CROSS

I SAID BUT YOUR LOVED ONE LIVES

             AND GOD SAID SO DOES YOURS

I SAID WHERE IS HE NOW

            AND GOD SAID MY SON IS BY MY SIDE AND YOUR LOVED ONE IS IN MY ARMS.  

I SAW THIS AND IT GAVE ME SUCH PEACE IT IS SO VERY TRUE I WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU ALL

Buddy,                         October 16, 2007

Hey I just thought I would sit down and write you a little letter. I went to Illinois with Tina. I actually flew on a big airplane, I had to take Addiosn with me. I liked it alot. I got to meet your dad and his sister they were very nice. I thought he looked alot like you or you look alot like him. We all had alot of fun, we took the kid's to the pumpkin farm and we went shopping.They are some nice people very friendly. I think you might have liked them also. I wish you were still here. Pete talked alot about everyone back in the day. I need to come up to visit you. I love and miss you a bunch.

BUDDY,

I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND YOU HAVE BEEN ON MY MIND TODAY,I WENT TO THE CEMETARY TO SEE GRANDMA AND DOUGIE. I SURE HOPE YOU ARE ALL TOGETHER, I WISH YOU WERE HERE. TINA IS STAYING AT THE OTHER HOUSE NOW WHEN I GET HOME LEXI AND CHRIS ARE GONNA STAY A FEW DAYS LEXI AND JULIAN ARE IN THE SAME CLASS CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT.I HOPE THE TEACHER IS PREPARED FOR YOUR DAUGHTER AND NEPHEW BECAUSE TOGETHER IT COULD SPELL TROUBLE,AND THEN AGAIN IT MIGHT BE A GOOD THING THEY COULD LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER.I LOVE YOU AND I WILL BE HOME SOON TO SEE YOU             LOVE MOM

Buddy,                        September 14, 2007

Just wanted to let you know we are all thinking about you and missing you dearly. Give everyone a kiss and a hug up there for me and tell them I am missing them too. You know it's been alittle over 2 year's that you have been gone and I sit sit around in amazement that your really not here I just feel like it is all still a dream and waiting for someone to wake me up. I still ask people can you believe he is really gone and just doesn't seem real.They say God take's all the good one's first. I talk about you all the time. Believe it or not Lexi said she wanted to come live with me her mean old Aunt Michelle. I was surprised when she said it to me. I would take her in a heart beat just to know she was safe and being took care of would make us all rest alittle easier. I feel so sorry for those babies having to live the way they do. Everything is so crazy down here on this earth. Mom and and Tina are moving to Morgantown and I don't know what I am going to do everyday cause that's where I usually am. I will manage though i guess. I will have to find something else to do with my time ( maybe do my laundry and put it away lol). Just be really boring for me. You know I can't believe my dad and that's all I am going to say about that situation. It hurt's my feeling's but I will deal with just the same. Oh well his loss not mine. I love you and think about you all the time. I love and miss you.

WELL I THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE YOU AND TELL YOU ALL THATS GOING ON,FIRST OF ALL LEXI WANTS TO COME UP HERE BECAUSE THE ELECTRIC IS TURNED OFF AND THEY DON'T HAVE ANY FOOD.SO I WILL GET HER CHRIS HAS TO GO TO SCHOOL SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT HIM,SAMANNTHA JUST GOT YOUR SS CHECK FOR ALEXIS AND SHE WAS BROKE TWO DAYS LATER.SHE DIDN'T EVEN BUY THE KIDS SCHOOL SUPPLIES WE HAVE GOTTEN IT FOR THEM THE LAST TWO YEARS AND I JUST DIDN'T HAVE IT THIS TIME . I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO SHE SPENDS MOST OF HER MONEY ON DRUGS AND SHE LOST HER CAR BECAUSE SOMEONE SHE WAS RUNNING AROUND WITH WAS DRIVING AND SHE HAD THE KIDS WITH HER THEY GOT STOPPED AND THEY TOOK THEY GUY TO JAIL HE HAD DRUGS ON HIM AND THEY IMPOUNED HER CAR.SO SHE DIDN'T GO GET IT. NOT SURE WHY THEY STOPPED THEM,BUT IT CONCERNS ME BECAUSE SHE HAD THE KIDS WITH HER.SHE IS MERLS BEST FRIEND NOW CAN YO BELEIVE THAT.I WISH I COULD REALLY KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR DAD PETE AND ALL THATS GOING ON. HE WANTS TO PAY FOR SOME OF YOUR HEADSTONE AND I AM OK WITH IT, BUT  MERL IS FIGHTING ME TOOTH AND NAIL BUT I REALLY DON'T CARE WHAT HE SAYS WE ARE DONE I CAN'T TAKE HIM ANY MORE IT TOOK ME 28 YEARS TO SEE THE REAL MERL, BUT BUBBY IS MAD AT ME TOO FOR IT HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT THE GIRLS DO AS FAR AS SEEING PETE BUT HE IS DEAD SET ON HIM NOT COMING TO THE GRAVE YARD OR PAYING FOR ANY OF YOUR HEADSTONE. HE THINKS HE DEFENDING WHAT YOU WOULD WANT BECAUSE YOUR NOT HERE TO HAVE A SAY IN ANY THING, WHAT DO I DO I AM TORN IN A MILLION DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.I LOVE ALL YOU KIDS BUT BUBBY MAKES ME CRY BECAUSE HE IS SO LOST WITHOUT YOU AND HE MISSES YOU SO MUCH HE IS ACTUALLY ANGRY ABOUT SO MUCH HE CARRIES A BIG CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER AND HE CRIES ABOUT YOU. HOW DO I HELP LORD I WISH YOU WOULD SHOW ME THE WAY I AM SO LAST. YOU HAVE MY SON AND MY MOTHER  AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.I LOVE YOU JESUS AND I KNOW THEY ARE SAFE IN YOUR CARE BUT I JUST NEED THEM RIGHT NOW.HELP ME TO FIND THE PATH TO WALK BEFORE I FALL OFF THE FACE OF THIS EARTH. I LOVE YOU BUDDY MOM JEREMY AND DOUGIE

WELL HERE I SIT AGAIN BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP I HAVE SO MUCH ON MY MIND.I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH ALL MY PICTURES LOOKING FOR MORE PICTURES OF YOU AND OF DOUGIE JEREMY AND GRANDMA. I WAS LAUGHING BECAUSE I FOUND THE PICTURE OF YOU ON THE HORSE AND I ALWAYS CALLED IT YOUR JAUN VALDEZ PICTURE AND YOUR PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR CHEFS HAT. I FOUND SO MANY PICTURES I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT.AND THEY BRING BACK SO MANY MEMORIES. I LOVE YOU ALL AND I MISS YOU EVERYDAY. THERE IS SUCH A BIG HOLE IN MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE HERE. I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND A WAY TO FILL THE VOID IN MY LIFE.I MISS YOU AND MOM AND DOUGIE AND JEREMY VERY MUCH . MAY THE GOOD LORD KEEP YOU IN HIS GRACE AND I WILL SEE YOU SOMEDAY. ALEXIS IS SO MUCH LIKE YOU I HAVE A ALBUM EACH OF YOU AND HER AND I CALL IT MY ALBUMS OF MANY FACES BECAUSE YOU AND HER WERE ALWAYS MAKING A FACE OR POSEING FOR THE CAMERA. SHE IS DEFINATLY YOUR LITTLE GIRL, CHRIS IS SO LOST I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM AT ALL HE MISSES YOU DEARLY. I WILL TALK TO YOU LATER. I LOVE YOU ALL. MOM

Buddy
i guess that i have avoided things for two long. My life is so messed up I wish you were here to help me.you would'nt even beleive all thats going on now but then maybe you would. i would never guess that they would even consider doing anything but they are both the pits of the earth. i am so hurt by Merl that I can't even think.but I am done being hurt and tired of the argueing. I will look out for your daughter at all cost I promise you that. i love you and miss you so much.all this pain and heartache I have right now is breaking me down and i'm looking for an answer to it all. I hope God will show me the way because right now I am so lost,I need to find a way to find some peace . you were always so funny in times of trials and troubles where are you now i need a smile and a laugh and a big hug from you my beautiful son. always mom

Buddy,                            August 9, 2007

I never thought I would have to be going to a website to visit you or to a grave. I never thought you would die as young as you did. I guess when it's your time to go God take you to his home so you can live happy and in peace. I am just so sorry that God had to take you so early, take you away from your family and your kid's. I miss you so much. I remember he day I got married I didn't have anyone to walk me down the asile and you said you would do it for me. You didn't put a suit on you had on some cacky pant's and a dress shirt and sandal's but boy did you look handsome. You knew that though you could make anything look good. I had so many good time's with you and you was such a protective brother. I remember I let you talk me into taking you to the bar and I had to end up calling mom to get you to the car. I love and miss you!!!!

Buddy,                                     August 8, 2007

I was dreading coming to this site today because I knew it would only take me back to that morning two year's ago when I got that phone call. I still remember that day so well I still get chill's when I think about it. I miss you so much!!! I know what you would have been doing today because it was so hot today, you would have been sitting on the river bank drinking a nice cold budlight. I miss your smile and your laugh and your face and most of all your advice. I love you big brother. OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!